the city chicken


Shoe shit
06 24 2008, 12:24 pm
Filed under: work

One of the joys of being female reared its ridiculous head this morning. As I was walking to work, the heel of one of my shoes got caught in a sidewalk cranny. I tried to inconspicuously wriggle my foot to dislodge the shoe. That wasn’t working. I tried sheer force and yanked my leg straight up which ended up with me getting shot forward but my shoe staying behind. Passers-by now know what is going on… Now with one bare foot I decide to just reach down and get the bastard. I grab the shoe with one hand – not budging. I sit my bag down on the sidewalk and grab the shoe with both hands and yank – nothing happens. Now, totally pissed, I put all of my strength into it and I am almost positive I made a “heeYA” sound – the shoe shoots out of the sidewalk and I shoot backwards. Finally victorious, I calmly place the shoe back on the ground, step into it, grab my bag . . .  and then head toward the maze of grates right in front of the building…. *sigh*

I rarely watch the local news but this morning it caught my attention. One of the major expressways in the city was closed due to a large fire that had started at 2am and was still smoldering at 7. Not a funny story . . . yet (BTW, no one got hurt apparently). Somehow a pickup truck and three semi trucks got all tangled up, bursting one of the fuel tanks of one of the semis. One of the semis was full of tub margarine or butter. one was full of Gatorade, and the other was full of potato chips that were ironically named “flaming hot” or something to that effect. Gasoline, greasy chips, and butter – all capable of fueling fire and then Gatorade – don’t they market themselves as “fuel”? And what the heck did the firefighters think when they first arrived? The smell must have been atrocious (or maybe the exact opposite). And how the hell do you clean that stuff up!? I predict a whole lotta accidents in that same location after the next rain.

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